Harry Potter and the Bottomless Bag'o'Chips
by pbluekan
Summary: In the stress of a war for the soul of Wizarding Brittain, what could be better than an unending bag of chips?


"Harry, Ron, why is my bag filled with chips?" Hermione's deceptively mild tone was warning enough for both Harry and Ron to slip their small bottles of eyedrops away unobtrusively, as they turned to face their female companion.

"Oh," Ron coughed lightly into his hand before continuing in a lazy drawl, "no reason, really, 'Mione."

"'Mione?'" Hermione questioned.

"Yeah!" Harry answered, his tone carrying a relaxed giddiness that was entirely uncharacteristic of the normally temperamental young man. The peculiarity of the situation was only emphasized by the accompanying idiotic giggle. "It's easier, 'iddnit?"

The brunette witch sighed. "And the chips?"

At this reminder, Ron smiled brightly before reaching a hand out towards the bag held in Hermione's hands. "Ooh, the chips! I'll bet they're still hot!" After a moment where no one moved, he quirked an eyebrow at Hermione, as if she were responsible for his lack of fried delicacy. "Well? Give us some, then!"

The witch huffed before snatching a golden brown chunk of potato and flicking it at the ginger-haired wizard's head.

"Oi!"

"Why are they in my bag, you idiots!" Later, she would refuse to admit that she had stomped her foot rather childishly.

"Ah, well, 'Mione-" Harry started.

"Don't call me 'Mione.'"

"Weeell, 'Mi-" Harry stopped and giggled again, "Hermione, I was, er, looking through my bag for something to eat ... Yeah ... after Ron and I had..." He trailed off for a moment and thoughtfully tapped his lips with a single finger, as if he were choosing his next words with extraordinary care, before beginning to speak again with a sort of satisfied air about himself. "Yeah, I was looking through my bag for something to eat after Ron and I had taken out the rubbish."

The witch's eyes momentarily flicked to Ron at the boy's ill concealed snort.

"So you were looking through your bag that has never had anything edible in it for _something to eat_ after you _took the trash_ out of our magical tent that automatically vanishes rubbish?" Her voice very nearly dripped with sarcasm and incredulity.

Harry frowned as if finally realizing his poorly conceived excuse was not actually going to help him at all. "Yeah?" He dragged the word out slowly, apparently attempting to convince himself of its validity.

"So the chips?" Both boys brightened considerably at her apparent acceptance.

"Right! So, in my bag I found a few quid I'd nicked from Vernon-" He was cut off by Hermione whom had apparently latched onto the idea of money like a cat on a mouse.

"A few? How much exactly? We should go buy some food with it; my savings have about run dry." Her rapid fire tone caused the boy's eyes to widen in mild alarm. "So," she pinned Harry with a calculating look. "How much?"

Harry cocked his head away from her slightly and eyed her with an evasive, sideways look. "A few."

"A few?"

"Yeah, a couple." Harry mumbled as he childishly wiggled his knees back and forth.

She glanced at Ron, hoping for an answer, but dismissed him with a put upon sigh when she noticed he was staring at the cabinetry with apparently unending interest. "The chips?"

"Alright? I found a few quid in my bag, and we decided to make a food run down to Bream."

"Hence the chips?" She asked hesitantly, as if fearing the answer.

"Not quite!" Ron piped up while continuing to stare into the small kitchen.

Hermione pinched the bridge and closed her eyes for a moment before motioning Harry to elaborate.

"Ok, after we got to town and..." He paused for a moment to run his hand through his hair and shoot a strange look at Ron. "Took out the trash again?"

Hermione opened her mouth to question the odd euphemism but closed it a moment later, apparently having thought better of allowing Harry any more tangents.

"We walked past this American restaurant. And saw that their baskets of chips were 'bottomless.' But 'cause they're muggles the baskets weren't really 'bottomless,' now were they?" The self-satisfied smile that lit up Harry's face was almost blinding.

Hermione closed her eyes and groaned as she connected the strange points of logic. "So you proceeded to fill my bag with fried potatoes to get your 'bottomless bag'o'chips.'"

Ron's noise of agreement made it sound as if the whole affair should have been obvious from the start. "And we were hungry."

"Ah, best not forget that scintillating fact." She glanced at Harry and held out her hand. "Just roll me one, Harry; Merlin knows I'll need it to deal with the pair of you."

A blinding smile was her only answer as the black-haired youth reached into his rucksack and Ron proceeded to dig into the 'bag'o'chips.'


End file.
